Tribal Living

Dear community friends,

What would I be doing right at this moment, if I were an octopus?

When their requests are being fired at me in rapid succession, Logan, Paige and I have a joke about how mommy has only two hands, not eight! I can't do a million things at once.

However, if I did have eight hands (or better yet, if I were eight mommies) I would: send one up to bed to sleep, wash dishes. fold laundry, finish unpacking and organizing, prune belongings for Purple Heart donation, do art projects with Logan and Paige, work on my songs and lines for The Encore's Music Man, work on my list of things to do for fundraising at , and send one of me on a date with Ben, probably dinner and a movie

Oh! That's eight already! I have many more items on my perennial "to do" list, but those are the top eight that came immediately to mind.

How many of us parents feel like we never have enough hours in the day to accomplish everything? For those of us who stay at home, particularly with young children, the days can feel very long, focusing almost entirely on meeting the needs of our little kids, while in the background of our minds the busy little hamster on the worry wheel is repeatedly running through our to do list (shopping, cleaning, cooking, working, planning, etc.). I can imagine parents who work full-time outside of the home feel similarly. Meanwhile, we all simply want to be fully present and savor every moment together as a family.

I believe humans were not meant to live in isolation, with each household trying to accomplish an identical set of what feels like an insurmountable list of tasks, without help.

What if there were eight mommies and eight daddies and eight sets of children? Eight families sharing chores, childcare, errands, cooking, lawn mowing, gardening, playing, etc.? What if there were eight families whose children knew each other well, whose parents were friends, who had similar interests, and were particularly invested in sharing and trading time, with a natural ebb and flow to the days together?

If Logan and Paige knew seven other families well, we could interchange whose house the kids are playing at on which afternoon, while mommy and/or daddy get some work done, have a date, share chores, etc. 

Now I do love having my own house, which is one of the reasons our family chose to live in the Village of Dexter, rather than a cohousing or intentional community. We like to get out, connect with others, share time, work and play together, and then enjoy a quiet haven at the end of the day. Plus, what if our family is up late singing songs or catching up on "American Idol" or "Glee" episodes or practicing indoor baseball? It would be ideal not to share a wall with our neighbors, so everyone gets undisturbed sleep when they need it.

Let's think together outside of the daycare, babysitter (human and television) box and reach out to each other, across our lawns and connect to become a tribe. If eight families did this, we would have the kernel of a tribe. If 80 families did this, we would have an extended tribe. If 800 families did this, we would have a thriving, tribal community.

What if we all stop trying to single-handedly juggle our responsibilities, household and family needs, and instead share time, help each other, build relationships and live tribally? I believe we can do this. Mommy and daddy will feel calmer, supported and more connected. Our children will benefit greatly, as we parents model how to live together in true community. Children will experience that asking for help is vital. And we will all be living out the idea that peaceful co-existence as a connected tribe is how everyone's needs are best met.